This weekend my family and I went on a mini vacation. Here are some pictures!
This weekend Adam and I traveled to Zumbrota, MN to witness two of our friends vow to spend their lives together. Well, actually, we missed the ceremony. But we did make it to dinner and the reception which was CRAZY fun! I'm serious, it was maybe the most fun I've had at a wedding, and there is a reason for that: Freedom.
A freedom that I am diving into head first, immersed in the grace of God experiencing freedom as I never have before. God has been teaching me what it looks like to be comfortable with who I am in Him. Confident in my identity in Christ and who He created me to be. To better understand who it is God created me to be, I'll first tell you who He did not create me to be. He did not create me to stand on the sidelines, He did not create me to be timid, I am not created to remain in a huddle talking about what it is God has called His people to do, I am not created to live in fear, He did not create me to keep to myself, He did not create me to live in isolation, I am not created to live for myself, avoiding conversations about God and who He is, He did not create me to be fake with people, He did not create me to hide in books, He did not create me to hide my emotions, He did not create me to hide. So who am I created to be? I am created to be a worshipful being, I am created to love others, I am created to be vulnerable and real with others, I am created to be radiant as Christ lives within me, I am created to be bold (yes, even though I am an introvert) I am created to step outside of my comfort zone, I am created to be feel emotions and express them, I am created to pursue people radically, I am created to walk in freedom daily, I am created to care more about the fame of Jesus than what people think of me, I am created to step away from the sidelines and join the game, I am created to dance joyfully, even if I look foolish because who cares?! So this is why I had more fun at this wedding than any other, because I am finally understanding what it means to live in freedom. I felt completely free to dance like a crazy person and sweat until it was dripping down my face because it doesn't matter if people think I look stupid (and often people don't even think this, we are just driven by the fear that people might think we look stupid) I felt free to dance like a crazy person even if I wasn't surrounded by the safety blanket of my closest friends. The next day Adam and I were able to visit our church in Eau Claire and spend some time with friends afterward. At church, I was reminded even more how much I need this freedom and healing in my life. Grant talked about relentlessly loving others, and how love is not passive. Love needs to be expressed and we need to pursue others if we really want to love them. We can't be passive and artificial in our relationships because that is not love. This really spoke to me because I do tend to be passive in relationships out of fear, fear of rejection or fear of vulnerability and that is not loving. I felt so encouraged after our time in Eau Claire and as we were driving home I thought about what I was going to sing last night at night service. I was in charge of leading worship at night service yersterday, and in the past I am not going to lie, I've been pretty nervous doing it by myself. This time, as I sat in the car think "holy cow I haven't even practiced anything, this is going to end terribly" a small and quiet voice gently reminded me that it doesn't matter what people think of me after I sing, the only thing that mattered was that they would taste Jesus during worship. I let that sink in for a while, and the more I did the more I realized that my fame seriously doesn't matter! It does not matter if people walk away from a worship session thinking "wow she has a beautiful voice, that was really good" the only thing that is important is whether or not they are truly worshiping Jesus and tasting His sweetness in those worship sessions. Last night at night service, I really did feel that. It was the first time at a night service where I have felt freedom in worship. Freedom to actually worship God rather than feel like I need to be performing. It was fantastic and I think others experienced the joy of truly worshiping the Creator. In closing of my maybe a tad bit random thoughts, I'd like to challenge you to consider this question: are you living as who God created you to be? Or are you hiding and perhaps standing on the sideline? I want to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone, and let your walls fall and just see how you feel. I think you'll be surprised at the freedom you will experience when you trust God and His grace and stop caring sooooooo much about what other people will think. We are created to be worshipful and alive people, people who walk daily with the knowledge of who God created them to be. So what are you waiting for? It seems that every year, the Girl's Retreat ends up being more of an adventure than Meghan and I anticipate. Last year, we forgot half the supplies and the hot dogs turned yellow, this year we made sure we were completely prepared but that didn't stop chaos from happening.
The middle school retreat took place on Monday, and we had 8 girls signed up. We arrived at the campground at about 1030 and began the retreat. Everything was going smoothly, the girls were having fun, our studies were going well, and the day was turning out as we had hoped! Until the evening. That's when we learned rain was coming, and it was going to be a lot of rain. We made the girls make their pudgy pies quickly as the sky started sprinkling, and just as we finished our dinner, the rain came. We hurried into the 8 person tent and spent the next few hours playing games. HOURS in a tent. But you know what? It really wasn't that bad! When we asked the girls what their high of the trip had been at least half of them said playing games in the tent. So even though, it rained all evening and night, the girls were troopers and it went better than we had expected. The high school retreat started on Tuesday morning and not long after we arrived at the campsite and had played a few games we got a call from one of the middle school parents telling us that they had just found out their daughter had lice. And so began the 2 hours of calling parents and taking down the tent and figuring out what we were going to do for the night. It was kind of a bummer that we had to take up part of the afternoon figuring out our plan, but we did still manage to have enough time to accomplish everything we had planned for the day. In the end, we didn't spend the night with the high school girls because some parents felt uncomfortable with the fact that they had put their stuff in the same tent that the girls with lice had slept in. We took the girls home at 11 but it ended up being a good day anyway I think. During my time on the retreat, God taught me a few things. The first was that I truly can rely on God's strength. On Monday night I think I got 4 hours of sleep, so Tuesday I was extremely tired when the high school girls came, but there were moments I was reminded that God was with me and I didn't need to do anything on my own. At one point, as I walked back to the campsite I paused to look at the field and a bird flew by. I swear it must have been the most beautiful sounding bird I have ever heard because it lifted my heart so much. In the moment I felt a gentle yet firm reminder that God was with me and it wasn't by my strength I was doing this retreat. Another thing I learned is that I don't have the right to pick and choose who is in the Kingdom. How dare that even be something I consider? There were times on the retreat when my heart was ugly and sinful and I had fleeting thoughts about things I would have changed about people. It was never vicious or hateful, just small thoughts like "why can't this person try to engage more with the group?" or "why does she do things that way" and my heart would want to pull away from that person because of their differences. However, I have no right to decide who is in the Kingdom of God! I'm learning to look at people the way God sees them, to look at their hearts. Rather than to look at outward things or quirks that I don't understand. It's not about what someone chooses to wear or do with their makeup or hair, or even about the things they like to do in their free time, whether that be volleyball, singing, riding horses, or even anime or writing stories. Everyone is uniquely created by God and I never have the right to say I would have changed something about a person. I'm learning to look at the heart. I did have an awesome time on this years girl's retreat, and I loved getting to know each and every girl on the trip. They are all so great and I'm looking forward to getting to know them more this fall when youth group starts up again. I already have a love for these girls, even after only a day with them! Seriously, they were so wonderful and had such great attitudes and hearts. But I should probably stop blogging, because I gotta go get rid of this lice. Can we all just pause for a moment and think about how great life is?! I mean seriously, the sun is shining, the air is warm, and the day lies before us! Not to mention, Adam and I have the privilege of watching some pretty awesome dogs for the week. Jazzy and Spencer (two cats, Wilson and Purr Purr but who likes cats right?). This also means we get to enjoy huge windows that let the sunlight pour in, a beautiful deck which we can grill on, and a gorgeous home. Life. Is. Great. I mean think about how many things you have to be thankful for!! Today I just feel overwhelmed with joy and thanksgiving for my life and all that God has done for me. Listen to this song and take some time to reflect on the freedom we have because of what Christ did for us! Our debt is paid and we are free because Jesus has set us free!! |