This weekend Adam and I traveled to Zumbrota, MN to witness two of our friends vow to spend their lives together. Well, actually, we missed the ceremony. But we did make it to dinner and the reception which was CRAZY fun! I'm serious, it was maybe the most fun I've had at a wedding, and there is a reason for that: Freedom.
A freedom that I am diving into head first, immersed in the grace of God experiencing freedom as I never have before. God has been teaching me what it looks like to be comfortable with who I am in Him. Confident in my identity in Christ and who He created me to be. To better understand who it is God created me to be, I'll first tell you who He did not create me to be. He did not create me to stand on the sidelines, He did not create me to be timid, I am not created to remain in a huddle talking about what it is God has called His people to do, I am not created to live in fear, He did not create me to keep to myself, He did not create me to live in isolation, I am not created to live for myself, avoiding conversations about God and who He is, He did not create me to be fake with people, He did not create me to hide in books, He did not create me to hide my emotions, He did not create me to hide.
So who am I created to be? I am created to be a worshipful being, I am created to love others, I am created to be vulnerable and real with others, I am created to be radiant as Christ lives within me, I am created to be bold (yes, even though I am an introvert) I am created to step outside of my comfort zone, I am created to be feel emotions and express them, I am created to pursue people radically, I am created to walk in freedom daily, I am created to care more about the fame of Jesus than what people think of me, I am created to step away from the sidelines and join the game, I am created to dance joyfully, even if I look foolish because who cares?!
So this is why I had more fun at this wedding than any other, because I am finally understanding what it means to live in freedom. I felt completely free to dance like a crazy person and sweat until it was dripping down my face because it doesn't matter if people think I look stupid (and often people don't even think this, we are just driven by the fear that people might think we look stupid) I felt free to dance like a crazy person even if I wasn't surrounded by the safety blanket of my closest friends.
The next day Adam and I were able to visit our church in Eau Claire and spend some time with friends afterward. At church, I was reminded even more how much I need this freedom and healing in my life. Grant talked about relentlessly loving others, and how love is not passive. Love needs to be expressed and we need to pursue others if we really want to love them. We can't be passive and artificial in our relationships because that is not love. This really spoke to me because I do tend to be passive in relationships out of fear, fear of rejection or fear of vulnerability and that is not loving. I felt so encouraged after our time in Eau Claire and as we were driving home I thought about what I was going to sing last night at night service. I was in charge of leading worship at night service yersterday, and in the past I am not going to lie, I've been pretty nervous doing it by myself. This time, as I sat in the car think "holy cow I haven't even practiced anything, this is going to end terribly" a small and quiet voice gently reminded me that it doesn't matter what people think of me after I sing, the only thing that mattered was that they would taste Jesus during worship. I let that sink in for a while, and the more I did the more I realized that my fame seriously doesn't matter! It does not matter if people walk away from a worship session thinking "wow she has a beautiful voice, that was really good" the only thing that is important is whether or not they are truly worshiping Jesus and tasting His sweetness in those worship sessions. Last night at night service, I really did feel that. It was the first time at a night service where I have felt freedom in worship. Freedom to actually worship God rather than feel like I need to be performing. It was fantastic and I think others experienced the joy of truly worshiping the Creator.
In closing of my maybe a tad bit random thoughts, I'd like to challenge you to consider this question: are you living as who God created you to be? Or are you hiding and perhaps standing on the sideline?
I want to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone, and let your walls fall and just see how you feel. I think you'll be surprised at the freedom you will experience when you trust God and His grace and stop caring sooooooo much about what other people will think. We are created to be worshipful and alive people, people who walk daily with the knowledge of who God created them to be. So what are you waiting for?
A freedom that I am diving into head first, immersed in the grace of God experiencing freedom as I never have before. God has been teaching me what it looks like to be comfortable with who I am in Him. Confident in my identity in Christ and who He created me to be. To better understand who it is God created me to be, I'll first tell you who He did not create me to be. He did not create me to stand on the sidelines, He did not create me to be timid, I am not created to remain in a huddle talking about what it is God has called His people to do, I am not created to live in fear, He did not create me to keep to myself, He did not create me to live in isolation, I am not created to live for myself, avoiding conversations about God and who He is, He did not create me to be fake with people, He did not create me to hide in books, He did not create me to hide my emotions, He did not create me to hide.
So who am I created to be? I am created to be a worshipful being, I am created to love others, I am created to be vulnerable and real with others, I am created to be radiant as Christ lives within me, I am created to be bold (yes, even though I am an introvert) I am created to step outside of my comfort zone, I am created to be feel emotions and express them, I am created to pursue people radically, I am created to walk in freedom daily, I am created to care more about the fame of Jesus than what people think of me, I am created to step away from the sidelines and join the game, I am created to dance joyfully, even if I look foolish because who cares?!
So this is why I had more fun at this wedding than any other, because I am finally understanding what it means to live in freedom. I felt completely free to dance like a crazy person and sweat until it was dripping down my face because it doesn't matter if people think I look stupid (and often people don't even think this, we are just driven by the fear that people might think we look stupid) I felt free to dance like a crazy person even if I wasn't surrounded by the safety blanket of my closest friends.
The next day Adam and I were able to visit our church in Eau Claire and spend some time with friends afterward. At church, I was reminded even more how much I need this freedom and healing in my life. Grant talked about relentlessly loving others, and how love is not passive. Love needs to be expressed and we need to pursue others if we really want to love them. We can't be passive and artificial in our relationships because that is not love. This really spoke to me because I do tend to be passive in relationships out of fear, fear of rejection or fear of vulnerability and that is not loving. I felt so encouraged after our time in Eau Claire and as we were driving home I thought about what I was going to sing last night at night service. I was in charge of leading worship at night service yersterday, and in the past I am not going to lie, I've been pretty nervous doing it by myself. This time, as I sat in the car think "holy cow I haven't even practiced anything, this is going to end terribly" a small and quiet voice gently reminded me that it doesn't matter what people think of me after I sing, the only thing that mattered was that they would taste Jesus during worship. I let that sink in for a while, and the more I did the more I realized that my fame seriously doesn't matter! It does not matter if people walk away from a worship session thinking "wow she has a beautiful voice, that was really good" the only thing that is important is whether or not they are truly worshiping Jesus and tasting His sweetness in those worship sessions. Last night at night service, I really did feel that. It was the first time at a night service where I have felt freedom in worship. Freedom to actually worship God rather than feel like I need to be performing. It was fantastic and I think others experienced the joy of truly worshiping the Creator.
In closing of my maybe a tad bit random thoughts, I'd like to challenge you to consider this question: are you living as who God created you to be? Or are you hiding and perhaps standing on the sideline?
I want to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone, and let your walls fall and just see how you feel. I think you'll be surprised at the freedom you will experience when you trust God and His grace and stop caring sooooooo much about what other people will think. We are created to be worshipful and alive people, people who walk daily with the knowledge of who God created them to be. So what are you waiting for?